


The Tango Dance of Spies

by romanticjunkie83



Series: Barney and Robin Spies in Action [1]
Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: F/M, Gen, Minor Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-16
Updated: 2014-04-16
Packaged: 2018-01-19 14:38:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1473421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticjunkie83/pseuds/romanticjunkie83
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in this AU one shot Barney and Robin are spies who are on the hunt for the evil Ted Mosby. Have you always wanted to know what Ted would be like as a villain? Read on and find out.<br/>Takes place at the end of 8.02 The Pre-Nup and AU after that</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Tango Dance of Spies

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this about a year ago, never realised how fitting it was until now. Can be taken as a finale fix-up if you wish it to.

The Tango Dance of Spies

She drew a breath, her long black covered gloved arms stretched on either side of her. Her name was Robin Scherbatsky and she was going to change the world.  
The world of spies that is.  
The limo she was in drew to a stop out outside the new GNB building and her red sequinned dress shimmered lightly underneath her as she moved from side to side.  
Her day had come and one Ted Mosby’s death was fast approaching.  
By the time she and her husband Barney Stinson were finished with him he would never see the light of day again.  
He was not here with her right now; he had ventured inside the building not one hour before to bug the building’s ballroom and to prep some loose ends that needed to be completed. 

‘Robin’

She started at the warm voice of her driver Ranjit 

‘Yes Ranjit’

‘You better get out of the car, Barney just radioed me and he’s ready for you now.’

Robin smiled 

‘Thanks Ranjit. Let us get this show on the road.’

She drew the gloves up her arms once more, grabbed her earpiece, mask, and set off for the ballroom…

 

\--

 

Six months ago

Barney beamed, he had his Robin and they were going to get married. He could not be happier that things worked out for them at last. He took her hand and led her out of the GNB boardroom. They had barely crossed the corridor to the buildings elevator when they heard a very familiar voice ahead of them. 

‘He, Barney doesn’t have a clue what’s going on. The night of the…’ 

Barney grabbed hold of Robin’s hand and dragged them to the nearest hidden corner

‘Is that Ted?’

Robin whispered to her fiancée before he put his hand over her mouth.

‘Shhh’

Barney hissed

‘Just listen will you?’

Robin nodded and kept quiet

‘The night of the opening GNB ball will be a blast. There was never any reason for me to do this project except for Barney and his expert bargaining skills. Once I am through with him and Marshall the world will be as one. The way I dreamed it would be.’

Barney seethed 

‘Why that …I thought he was my friend.’

He whispered as Robin held him close 

‘I know Barney, I thought he was too.’

‘The trigger is set. Marshall does not know a thing. He just thinks that he got the job at that environmental agency by his own merit. The head honchos have him in their sights and the day of his first big trial he will definitely go out with a bang.’

‘Are you sure this is a good idea Mosby’

Billson’s voice rang out overhead

‘After all neither Marshall nor Barney have ever done wrong by you. Why are you so determined to wreck their lives?’

Ted snarled 

‘Barney got my girl and Marshall got married before me. I think that is a good enough reason don’t you.’

Billson sighed

There was no getting through to this fool of a man

‘Very well. I will alert the big guns. But if this goes wrong it’s on your head.’

Ted let out an evil laugh

‘That’s never going to happen.’

He said

As soon as the voices stopped talking 

Barney and Robin raced down the building emergency landing steps, through a secret corridor and a fancy trap door before finally getting down to the ground level in record time.

They looked at each other in horror

‘Ted’s planning to bomb the GNB building at the grand met ball and blame me and Marshall for it.’

Barney said in disbelief

He then let out an evil laugh of his own.

‘If he wants to play fine let him play, he’s seen nothing yet.’

Robin looked him oddly

‘Barney what are you saying?’

‘It’s time to bring out Stinson and Scherbatsky the most awesome spies in the world again.’

 

\--

 

Three months before

‘Robin, Come in Robin, can you hear me,’

The Bluetooth whistled into life as Barney Stinson’s voice came in loud and clear over the airwaves of their secret headquarters (which was really Barney’s suit room, but no one was looking so it did not matter)

‘I’m here Barney, I can hear you loud and clear, what’s up?’

‘I’ve secured our position, looks like Ted’s cronies use Quinn’s old apartment as a base, ‘

‘Awesome, Barnman, code me in once you’ve found proof’

‘Will do Scherbatsky, Stinson out,’

‘Oh and Barney, ‘

Robin interrupted him

‘Hmm’

‘Love you,’

‘Aww, Love you too Scherbatsky’

He replied.

\--  
Robin put her earpiece in and grinned as she joined the hundreds of people mingling inside the lobby. 

‘Hey Barney’ 

She spoke into her watch 

‘Yeah Scherbatsky’

His voice booming over the watch’s speaker

‘Are Marshall and Lily in position?’

‘Yes Scherbatsky, Marshall just let me know. Don’t you worry Robin; we are covering all our bases tonight.’

‘Good, I’ll see you in there then?’

‘Wouldn’t miss it for the world Scherbatsky’ 

Robin smiled as she remembered how they first got Marshall and Lily on board.  
It had taken a lot of work but she had finally managed to convince her best girlfriend that Ted was one of the bad people. 

 

\--

 

Two months earlier

‘What do you mean Ted Mosby is the one behind the GNB spy operation. Come on Marshall he’s our friend he would never do a thing like that.’

‘It’s true Lily pad; I saw his operation in progress with my very own eyes just last week. For an architect of the tallest building in the state he sure is sneaky and dense. He was so wrapped up in getting the plans to Barney’s boss he did not notice me eavesdropping on my way to lunch.’

‘But Marshall, you don’t even work there anymore. Why the hell were you eavesdropping?’

‘That’s what spies do Lilypad they spy on people.’

Barney shook his head at Lily’s words. If she did not believe Marshall now how were they supposed to complete this mission successfully? They had no hope at all.

Robin could see it in her husband’s eyes. They were downcast and troubled and not at all like the eyes of the man on a mission had she known before. 

She leaned in and whispered in his ear

‘Don’t look so troubled, see this as a challenge, a way to get him back for the way he has always treated you.’

He looked up at her with a small defeated smile

‘I guess’ 

‘Anyway I’ve got this, you and Marshall get started on the mission prep I’ll convince Lilypad’

Barney smiled at that

‘Thanks baby,’

He said giving her a kiss on the lips.

‘What could I do without you?’

\--

Robin inched closer to the ballroom and to her husband. Her guns were locked and loaded inside her handbag. Her gloves concealing the camera hidden inside the back pocket of her dress. Barney would be like a kid in a candy store once he saw what she looked like tonight and at last, he came into view. His brown locks combed over like a distinguished gentleman and the black suit and white gloves he wore made him look sexy as hell. However, nothing could stop the hardly concealed joy on his face knowing that at last they were going to take their best friend down. 

‘Scherbatsky, you suited up.’

He whispered to her as she came closer

‘When this mission is over, I can’t wait to suit you down’ 

‘Barney,’

She hissed with a barely contained giggle as she slapped his hands away from her.

‘Mission first, sex later alright’

‘Alright’

He pouted for a moment then took her hands in his once more

‘Marshall and Lily are patrolling the offices as we speak. Marshall has just confirmed that Ted and his cronies are here tonight and have infiltrated the mainframes of the GNB security system. How I have no idea since I’m the only one who has access to that system and I rarely use it because as I have just said I have no idea how it works.’

‘Lot of help you are then Stinson’

Robin said, playfully wishing that she could just rip off Barney’s clothes right there and then rather than waiting until they got home later that evening. However, work was work and that came first before anything else that evening.

Barney laughed

‘Just kidding you of course I know how the security system works.’

Robin was not paying any attention to him, but his body however, that was a different story.

‘Scherbatsky are you even listening to me’

Barney said in a louder voice than the one he had used beforehand

‘Wha...What did you say Barney’

Robin said embarrassed to be caught looking at him 

‘We can go at it later Scherbatsky’ 

Barney said giving her a wink and a smile 

He knew exactly what she had been looking at, the little minx

‘I said would you like to dance’

Robin smiled

‘Love to Barney’

‘I have been waiting for this all night’

‘I bet you have’

He grinned leering at her once more.

She took his gloved hand and let him lead her to the dance floor. 

Once they heard the opening strains of a tango however, they both groaned.

‘Do we have to?’

Robin said as she grabbed her Jessica rabbit mask out of her clutch as Barney did the same with his Goofy mask

‘Yes’

Barney grumbled as he pulled the mask over his head 

‘It’s the only way we’re going to get maximum attention tonight’

Robin sighed

‘Very well’

She said as she did the same with her mask and let Barney begin the dance. 

\--  
Meanwhile Marshall and Lily were on the second highest floor of the GNB building. Their orders were clear destroy Ted’s operation before he destroyed them. 

‘Marshall I’m nervous’

Lily said

‘I know Lilypad but trust Barney on this, he would never …’

‘Marshall’

Barney said in a fierce whisper

‘Use our fake names remember, we’re not the only ones who might be listening in on you tonight’

‘Yes Sir Goofy’

Marshall replied

‘Like I said Miss Daisy, Sir Goofy would never deliberately put us in harm’s way.’

‘But I am still scared…’

Lily whined like a three year old 

‘Daisy’

Lily stopped once she heard Robin’s voice 

‘Get over it and complete your mission, you will put us all in danger if you do not.’

No sooner did the words leave Robin’s lips than disaster struck. 

They were not going to need their masks after all. 

\--

‘Barney…Goofy, Goofy help’

Marshall’s voice rang out 

‘Lily has been captured… owww, owww, get away from me.’

Marshall looked up in horror when he realised he was face to face with the person he thought was his best friend. 

He looked down, some friend he was, Ted just stabbed him, him his best friend since college in the leg.

‘Hang in there buddy,’

Barney whispered to him as he and Robin took off running

‘Distract him as long as you can.’

‘We’ll be there as soon as possible’ 

Marshall gulped 

‘I’ll try’

He whispered back before facing Ted once more. 

‘Ted why, we didn’t do anything to hurt you. Why would you destroy something you designed to prove a point? Lily is my wife now and Barney has Robin. Why would you even try…?’

‘Shut up you fool’

Ted hissed as he shoved a knife in Marshall’s face 

‘Robin was my girl, mine. Barney cannot have her he never deserved her. He can rot in hell as far as I am concerned. If I can’t have Robin no one can.’

‘Oh grow up you fool.’

Marshall hissed back at Ted as he kicked him in the groin 

‘You won’t get anyone with that attitude’

‘Oh really’

Ted said with another snarl as he took off his jumper to reveal a vest full of explosives

‘Well neither will you.’

\--

The next few minutes past in a blur. Robin and Barney ripped off their masks and took up their weapons. They took in turns to fight their way up to Ted’s office on the tenth floor of the building and at last, they were face to face with the man that had made their lives a living hell the last six months. 

‘Guys’

Marshall whimpered 

‘He has a bomb’

‘You don’t think we can see that Marshall’

Robin snapped as she aimed her gun straight at Ted’s head

‘Easy girl, easy’

Barney whispered in her ear

‘I’m as scared as you are but that’s no reason to take it out on Marshall’

‘Shut it Barney, you’re not helping’

‘Noted’

‘Well looks like I’m finally going to get the girl …’

Ted snarled as he inched closer and closer to Robin so that she could practically taste his grubby sweating mouth. 

Barney looked ready to kill Ted with his bare hands

Robin was too quick for him however, as she slapped Ted across the face.

‘Owww,’

He said jumping up and down

‘What was that for, I only wanted to kiss you goodbye’

‘Not a chance Mosby’

Robin snapped

‘Barney is my husband not you. Grow up before I really do shoot you in the head.’

‘I dare you to try’

Ted said maliciously 

‘I’m the one with the bomb on my chest, if you don’t kiss me everyone in this room will die’

Robin gave him an icy stare that made the room around them feel like snow.

‘You wouldn’t’

‘You bet I would’

Ted challenged her

Robin winked at Barney 

The time to play was now.

‘Get your stinking hands off my wife Mosby’

Barney roared as he launched himself at Ted.

‘Guys, Guys,’

Robin yelled out

‘What’ 

Barney said after punching Ted straight in the nose.

‘It’s over, Ted’s dead’

‘What do you mean I’m dead?’

Ted glared at her

Robin smirked as she threw a poison tranquilliser dart into his face.

He crashed to the ground with a thud.

‘Let’s get out of here’ 

Robin said

Before she pressed the remote button that made the room explodes into a million pieces.

‘Robin, how …’

Marshall gasped out 

‘Shut up Marshall’

Barney muttered as he dragged the big man out of the room before they were all killed.

‘Where’s Lily’  
\--  
Robin and Barney shot their way into the room with a screaming Marshall Erickson trailing behind them.

The two of them scattered around the blood-smeared room until they found a screaming barely alive Lily that was dropping in and out of consciousness in the dark far corner away from the window that Ted and his cronies could put her.

Barney rushed at her with his trusty pocketknife and in no time, she was free. There was no time for celebration though as the poor woman was barely alive. 

‘Where is that bastard?’

She snapped at Barney when he picked her up and gingerly brought her into the middle of the room where Robin was taking care of a barely there howling screeching at the top of his lungs Marshall Erickson. 

‘Oh be quiet you big baby.’

Robin scolded him. 

‘Ted barely laid his hands on you I saw it with my very eyes.’ 

‘I know.’ 

Marshall said once he sat up and gave himself up to the still scowling Robin  
Scherbatsky- Stinson.

‘But I was so scared that he could hurt Lily in any way that I could barely stop myself from screaming.

‘Besides,’

He said once Robin and Barney had made sure they were both safe and secure in the middle of the room.

‘Ted stabbed me in the leg with his very own knife,’ 

‘Do you know how that feels, your best friend betraying you like that?’

Barney and Robin looked at each other and nodded remembering the time Ted did not speak to either of them for weeks up until the time just ten minutes ago when he could have killed them both with the bomb that had set his office ablaze.

‘Yeah we do Marshall; it’s no fun at all.’

Barney said giving the tall man’s hand a squeeze and pulled him up to a standing position 

‘I know he was just doing it to get out of here safely without me killing him first, but it still hurts you know?’

‘Yes we know.’

Robin said

‘Hey Robin, can you come here a second,’

Barney said from where he was bandaging Lily’s injured head from when Ted had thrown her across the room 

‘Yeah, Barney, what’s up?’

‘Is the room secure now, can we get her out safely?’

Robin checked around the room once more to make sure it was clear

‘Yeah Barney, we are all set we can take her to safety now.’

‘I’m a bit worried that she won’t be able to stay awake long enough for the paramedics to get here guys’

Marshall said

‘Yeah it looks like she took a decent knock to the head when Ted first threw her in here.’

Barney said

‘Will she be ok?’

Marshall asked them. 

‘I’m ok Marshmallow, don’t worry about me’

Lily said as she tried to keep her eyes open without success

‘I know lily pad; you just hang in there ok.’

Marshall said as he tried to keep her awake long enough to get to safety 

‘Ok Barney, you get the paramedics on the line, say that Lily and Marshall are ok but she has a nasty head injury and to wait for us to abseil her down.’

‘Ok.’

Barney immediately set off to call the paramedics and to secure a safe abseil line down from the window.

‘Marshall, keep Lily awake, we don’t want her to go into shock alright.’

‘Ok, Robin.’

‘Hang in there guys,

Robin said

‘We will get you out of here as soon as we can,’

‘Ok,’

Marshall said as he walked over to his Lily pad and hoped that she would be ok.

/-/ O \/\/ I /\/\ET YOUR /\/\OTHER

‘Ready Robin,’ 

Barney said through his Bluetooth microphone ten minutes later once they had set up the abseil harness and secured Robin and Lily as tight as they could.

‘Ready Barney.’ 

Robin said as she gripped the abseil rope ready for Marshall to lower them down. 

‘Ok then,’

Barney said from his position on the ground level 10 stories below.

‘Marshall, let them down.’

A short time later they managed to get them both down to safety with one minor mishap that Marshall had no trouble fixing when they both felt as though they were about to fall down onto the ground.

Lily was quickly taken care of and rushed to hospital mere minutes later while Marshall had a minor injury on his leg that didn’t trouble him a great deal anymore so he was allowed to join Lily in the ambulance.

Ted was unconscious in his office so no one had to deal with him anymore thank goodness.  
This meant the entire mission had been a success. Scherbatsky and Stinson had done it again.

Barney squeezed Robin’s hand as she gave him a peck on the cheek

They were the most awesome spying team in town.


End file.
